David Popenoe and Barbara Whitehead. Should we live together? What young adults need to know about cohabitation before marriageNew Brunswick,NJ: The National Marriage Project.1999.p 60.
I personally do not believe in cohabitation before marriage. Because two of the most important things in a relationship to me, is to still maintain a sense of who you are, and to still have some sort of boundary for each other before you say I do. I feel if you maintain your area or apartment or house, and your soon to be wife maintains hers. You both can still rotate turns visiting under the other ones roof, and learn just as much about each as if you were cohabiting. When speaking of finances you will only learn as much as the other person will tell you about their finances. As they, are willing to tell you whether your living together or not.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you’ve probably thought about shacking up with your mate. If you aren’t yet in a serious relationship, this will definitely be a topic of conversation that comes up–and one that you’ll need to be prepared for. There are certainly both pros and cons to living together before marriage.
Cohabitating with a mate before marriage provides a sneak peek into what your life of wedded bliss will look like (or not!). You’ll both be able to observe what the other does in the privacy of his/her own home, learn about each other’s quirks, practice keeping the romance alive while juggling a busy life, and see how well you’re able to get back to compatibility when there are challenges. Cooking together, home maintenance, sharing responsibilities, managing money and sharing bathroom privileges will definitely give you the information you both need to decide whether being together forever is right for you.
There are both pros and cons to living together before marriage, and it will be your responsibility to make an informed decision as to whether or not it is the best choice for you. If it is, happy house-hunting!